I Met My Husband In Prison - Dr Joe Okei-Odumakin (Culled from Nigerian tribune)
Dr. Joe Okei-Odumakin, a human rights activist, is the president, Campaign for Democracy (CD) and founder Women Arise. She speaks on her life, marriage to a co-activist, fashion and other issues in this interview with CHRISTIAN
How was your growing up days like?
In my early years, it was a taboo in my family, for one to come second or third in class. Anyone who came first would be taken out for shopping by my dad while that with seond position would be given a consolation prize by my mum. I liked the game of football.I was always a goal keeper in my school.
I didn’t like anyone being cheated. Whenever anyone was maltreated, I struggled to make sure that he or she got justice.
I was brought up to wake up as early as 5:am., wash plates, sweep the whole compound, wash my father’s car and the likes.
by the time my parents and brothers would wake up, all their duties must have been carried out by me. In fact, my mother’s job must also have been done by me because I must have prepared breakfast.
Our school uniforms, including our socks, were always clean. It was my regular routine to be awake at 10:00 p.m and read till 12.00 midnight daily.
How has it been married to an activist like you?
I wasn’t actually prepared for marriage but I had a change of mind when democracy was put in place in Nigeria. I got married in 1997 after my husband and I met at Alagbon prison.
I was detained at the Police headquarters, Ilorin. When I was transferred to Panti, Lagos, I saw a young man staring at me. Late Chief Gani Fawehinmi asked him if he knew me.
he replied that he had heard of me, but thought I was a man. I was later transferred to Alagbon prison.
There was a day he visited me there after he was released, but I told him not to stress himself because he could be arrested again.
He wanted to bring me food, but I declined the offer. Anyway, it has been fun all the way and I have never regreted the marriage.
As a human rights activist, how do you create time for relaxation and the caring of the home?
I know it is expected of me as a wife and mother to take care of the home front, I therefore ensure things are in order.
Any woman found wanton in this areas is considered a failure. Every woman must possess the ability of creating a balance between the home and her job. Anytime I am not going to be around, I put proper arrangements in place for the children’s care and also ensure that those at home with them put the home in good shape.
When I am around, I sometimes come home late due to the demands of my job, but I still carry out all that is expected of me.
When it comes to relaxing, I listen to Bob Marley; I also listen to Fela Anikulapo’s music. when I was in the university, anytimre I wanted to read and assimmilate, I used to play Fela’s music or that of Bob Marley.
I used to play films on revolution. I like history channel on the DSTV. One needs to keep learning daily. I also swim. nights are opportunity to reply my pending mails and also check my facebook.
In all, I always make sure that I balance what I do outside with what I do in the home.
Do you consider yourself a trendy dresser?
In 1991, I participated in a rally and was badly beaten by mobile policemen. My skirt was torn as I fell inside a gutter.
When I came out, someone offered me her scarf which I tied my skirt with. I was arrested and taken to the SSS headquarters, ilorin.
After that incident, I took that decision to always appear in trousers everywhere I go. It doesn’t take me more than two minutes to dress up.
I don’t apply make up or keep long finger- nails, neither do I apply body cream when it is rainy season. I do this only when there is harmattan, and even then, I use Vaseline. I use very simple and mild toilet soap. What I do now is braid my hair.
Braids has been my trademark since the death of Bob Marley. I feel much comfortable in trousers and flat slippers.
How do you resolve issues with your husband?
My husband and I always discuss the state of the nation each time we get home. Sometimes, we disagree on certain things but we resolve them.
This shows our level of maturity. For instance, during the United States of America’s presidential election, we supported different candidates but when the candidate eventually emerged, we had to concede to him.
There was another one. That was when I insisted that I was not going to get married until democracy was re-established in Nigeria.
One day, we were discussing the state of the nation with some of our comrades. Suddenly, he said, “Let us discuss the state of this union.
Don’t you know I am in love with this comrade and I will like to marry her?” I laughed and I told him that I wasn’t going to get married until there was democracy. He asked for a paper for both and asked me to write down reasons I didn’t want to get married then and he would write down reasons I should get married.
My reason was that I didn’t want any distraction because I would want to give my life to the struggle. His reason was that he could never be a distraction because two are better than one, and we believe in the same cause.
In the end, other comrades concluded that he had defeated me. Although I was not an easy catch ,but years later, we got married. We have a very warm home because we always disagree to agree.
As a woman, how do you feel being addressed as a die-hard activist?
I have been in the struggle where majority are men and I never felt intimidated. One thing about me is that I remain commited to the struggle and, in fact, any cause I believe in.
Whatever I do, I do it with all my strenght. So I don’t feel sad when I am adressed as a die-hard activist.
In my early years, it was a taboo in my family, for one to come second or third in class. Anyone who came first would be taken out for shopping by my dad while that with seond position would be given a consolation prize by my mum. I liked the game of football.I was always a goal keeper in my school.
I didn’t like anyone being cheated. Whenever anyone was maltreated, I struggled to make sure that he or she got justice.
I was brought up to wake up as early as 5:am., wash plates, sweep the whole compound, wash my father’s car and the likes.
by the time my parents and brothers would wake up, all their duties must have been carried out by me. In fact, my mother’s job must also have been done by me because I must have prepared breakfast.
Our school uniforms, including our socks, were always clean. It was my regular routine to be awake at 10:00 p.m and read till 12.00 midnight daily.
How has it been married to an activist like you?
I wasn’t actually prepared for marriage but I had a change of mind when democracy was put in place in Nigeria. I got married in 1997 after my husband and I met at Alagbon prison.
I was detained at the Police headquarters, Ilorin. When I was transferred to Panti, Lagos, I saw a young man staring at me. Late Chief Gani Fawehinmi asked him if he knew me.
he replied that he had heard of me, but thought I was a man. I was later transferred to Alagbon prison.
There was a day he visited me there after he was released, but I told him not to stress himself because he could be arrested again.
He wanted to bring me food, but I declined the offer. Anyway, it has been fun all the way and I have never regreted the marriage.
As a human rights activist, how do you create time for relaxation and the caring of the home?
I know it is expected of me as a wife and mother to take care of the home front, I therefore ensure things are in order.
Any woman found wanton in this areas is considered a failure. Every woman must possess the ability of creating a balance between the home and her job. Anytime I am not going to be around, I put proper arrangements in place for the children’s care and also ensure that those at home with them put the home in good shape.
When I am around, I sometimes come home late due to the demands of my job, but I still carry out all that is expected of me.
When it comes to relaxing, I listen to Bob Marley; I also listen to Fela Anikulapo’s music. when I was in the university, anytimre I wanted to read and assimmilate, I used to play Fela’s music or that of Bob Marley.
I used to play films on revolution. I like history channel on the DSTV. One needs to keep learning daily. I also swim. nights are opportunity to reply my pending mails and also check my facebook.
In all, I always make sure that I balance what I do outside with what I do in the home.
Do you consider yourself a trendy dresser?
In 1991, I participated in a rally and was badly beaten by mobile policemen. My skirt was torn as I fell inside a gutter.
When I came out, someone offered me her scarf which I tied my skirt with. I was arrested and taken to the SSS headquarters, ilorin.
After that incident, I took that decision to always appear in trousers everywhere I go. It doesn’t take me more than two minutes to dress up.
I don’t apply make up or keep long finger- nails, neither do I apply body cream when it is rainy season. I do this only when there is harmattan, and even then, I use Vaseline. I use very simple and mild toilet soap. What I do now is braid my hair.
Braids has been my trademark since the death of Bob Marley. I feel much comfortable in trousers and flat slippers.
How do you resolve issues with your husband?
My husband and I always discuss the state of the nation each time we get home. Sometimes, we disagree on certain things but we resolve them.
This shows our level of maturity. For instance, during the United States of America’s presidential election, we supported different candidates but when the candidate eventually emerged, we had to concede to him.
There was another one. That was when I insisted that I was not going to get married until democracy was re-established in Nigeria.
One day, we were discussing the state of the nation with some of our comrades. Suddenly, he said, “Let us discuss the state of this union.
Don’t you know I am in love with this comrade and I will like to marry her?” I laughed and I told him that I wasn’t going to get married until there was democracy. He asked for a paper for both and asked me to write down reasons I didn’t want to get married then and he would write down reasons I should get married.
My reason was that I didn’t want any distraction because I would want to give my life to the struggle. His reason was that he could never be a distraction because two are better than one, and we believe in the same cause.
In the end, other comrades concluded that he had defeated me. Although I was not an easy catch ,but years later, we got married. We have a very warm home because we always disagree to agree.
As a woman, how do you feel being addressed as a die-hard activist?
I have been in the struggle where majority are men and I never felt intimidated. One thing about me is that I remain commited to the struggle and, in fact, any cause I believe in.
Whatever I do, I do it with all my strenght. So I don’t feel sad when I am adressed as a die-hard activist.
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